Thursday, November 13, 2008


World is coming to a standstill in front of me
Yes, the world has come to a halt
Or, my world is at standstill without you
I don’t want it to move, if your memories I have to leave here
I choose not to move if you won’t join me in my further course
You’re always there, right in front of my eyes
Be it closed or open
And your heart so near as the heartbeat is to myself
Still I name you a stranger
Knowing I’m a stranger to you too
Forgetting all those beautiful moments spent together
We’re nothing but strangers to one another
What more to say when I find no words other than
Stranger, I’m totally in love with you
Your name I hear with each heart-beat of mine
And your thoughts haunt me every-time I take a breath
Just close your eyes once, for me
And let me steal that one moment
Am I just a stranger to you?
Am I not a part within you?
And here I am, deprived of all joys in life
Stranger to the world
Stranger to you
Stranger to myself…

Remnant of Eternity

From the depth of the heart of the ocean
Did I find the wonderful ray of hope
Though lost in the glory of itself, it shines anew
As if a remnant of eternity

All the way I was swimming against the current…the very thought of going against makes me keep going…being a born-rebel…Slowly did I realize, I’m way too far from the shore, away from things I hold dear…but started the journey nevertheless have to keep going till my destination…let no fear, no worry, no love hold me back…that is the prayer within…still I realize, it’s better to feel small with everything around than to be a remnant of eternity…but here I found the ray of hope in all its glory…thanks to the Pandora’s box.

My Promise

I’ll be here, it’s a promise
A promise not meant to be broken
You broke all promises
You walked away…
I’m here where you left me…
Mid-way on the road so dark
Where the road leads I don’t know
It may…to freedom or doom
But I’m not moving
I’m here where I am…
Where you left me…
I won’t ask you ever to take me along
Nor ask you to turn back and heed my call
I know you don’t want to
Walk away from me the farthest you can
May life make a bed of roses...for you
To love and to wait for you…it’s my promise
My promise alone…
If I find space in your mind someday,
Please remember these words of mine
I’m here where you left me…
You taught me life…to love…to wait…and to cry…
I’ll wait till the end of times
Here where I am…
So that I won’t cross your path ever again
That’s a promise.
To love, to wait, it is a promise.
Why to wait... I don’t know…
May you have all what you wish for…
May the cool breeze stroke your hair gently always…
May the songs you listen be your hymn…
May your path be strewn with flowers all sweet…
And thus the crushed flower prays…
Who fell in love with the very feet that crushed her…
Her voice was lost in the hymns and wind…
Yet she was bidding him adieu with tears…
And still telling him
In the hope the voice will reach him someday…
I’m here where I am, where you left me…
So that you can return someday…
Futile this dream may seem,
But I hold it so dear as my life itself…

My Relations - What They Taught Me

‘What real love is…It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter - as I did!’
-Charles Dickens (Great Expectations)

I disproved it!!!

So coming to the question of what I learnt from my past relations;

1. I’m not always right.
2. It’s better to lose by playing a fair game than to win by cheating. The same applies for all relations.
3. The greatest love in the universe is self-love. No other love can surpass it
4. Attitude should be something for keeping dignity, not for show-off purposes.
5. It doesn’t hurt much to forgive, but it takes a lot to forget.
6. Hatred is born out of love only, if you mix up frustration along with it in a greater amount.
7. There’s nothing wrong in staying happy as long as you’re not infringing others’ happiness.
8. The bravest is the one who can admit their mistakes in a relation and there’s nothing worse than a coward who leaves their loved one without a word.
9. It’s never too late.

Lessons of Life

1. Love them, love them, love them…if they hate you also love them. They won’t be able to defeat you then.
2. Believe you’re worth the best. Never compromise for anything, even if it is the second best thing available.
3. If you succeed once, stop there. Never do the same things again and again, either move for the tougher and better things or just stop and go get something better.
4. You should always leave something only for something better, not the other way round.
5. Never get blinded by the goodness of anything. Believe it is with you just because you are better.
6. If you have it, flaunt it. But, never impose it on anyone.
7. There is nothing wrong in being a people-pleaser. Only the charming lot can do so.
8. The only block to success or living according to one’s wishes is bothering about what others think of you. Never get affected with that feeling. Then success is definitely yours.
9. You don’t have to own anything in order to love it. The purest and greatest love is to give your heart and soul to something or someone who is no longer or never yours.
10. Trust is good. But never lose yourself even when the trust is broken. Always keep yourself on the safe side.
11. Don’t expect God to help those who do not help themselves.
12. Give, give, give as much as you can. But never lose anything yourself and give it.
13. Bad times are the best time for self-improvement. Utilize it to the fullest.
14. Never regret anything. But, never forgive yourself for making the same mistakes again and again. Just keep that in mind. Even then if it happens, keep the first line in mind…never regret.

My Thoughts...Unabridged yet Incomplete

Starting to find new ways to freedom, or rather, a whole new experience. I really don’t know what I’m writing, or rather now, typing. I only know that my mind is flying 3*10^8 times my writing speed (the speed of light). Excuse myself deviating a bit from solid literature at times to the more technological stuffs, me being an electronics engineering graduate find it quite difficult to eliminate the stuff I had savored and devoured day and night for the past 4 years…the marking of the end of 4 years being away by just 1 day…Yes, my life as a student has come to an end…the life I had been leading since the past 18 years…but now with a heart so full of inquisitiveness and unanswered questions still lingering over as though it is blocking my whole soul. Now, I’m just being a machine, just typing what comes to my mind without thinking, but I should be thinking, inside my so called brain, or I would like to use the generally used term, the mind; but as I told, having a strong technically oriented face to my life, I can’t dispense with being practical; they say mind is an abstract term, which doesn’t really exist, or putting it in other words, the brain according to the technical purists and heart according to the literary purists…from which I find it hard to choose. Because, it is a literary figure I wanted to become but fate made me an engineer…and the two according to the common man (the clan in which I’m also included) believe are absolute opposites. So, kindly bear with the absurdity in my ‘technical-kissed’ ‘trying-to-be literary’ language...
My many experiences and experiments with my life taught me many things which I would like to share…though I’m not of a grandmother’s age to say so. Or I should say, it is not the experience in my life that mattered, but how gutsy I was while experimenting with it, because I have done…but have definitely not crossed the boundaries my family kept on me…no…I don’t want to lie, not here at least…I did cross…I have crossed…I’m crossing…not one but the many boundaries my family and religion have forbidden me to do. So if the question is, whether I have boundaries or not, the answer is a straight ‘yes’. So the next question will be obviously what sort of boundary it is (well, all these questions matters only if you are quite interested in my topic. But, considering the fact that you’ve brought yourself into reading this, I hope I’m not boring you completely. Even critics can read it if they please because I like nothing better than someone pointing out my mistakes and better yet, telling me how I can improve…well, I know it’s rather too much to ask though…).
So, coming to the boundary question again, I would like to say, the only boundary that I ever had in my life is the boundary I created for myself, and in my personal case it is the boundary of my dignity. Things will be different for different people…it should be like that. After all, people are born different; and we should respect the differences. There will be a contradiction in that case…the question being concerned about the intention of the person…the much discussed topic…whether we should respect the difference of opinion of someone like a terrorist also. I would like to tell the reader with this confusion a simple fact that here we’re on the discussion of boundaries, and not exactly opinions and fanaticism, although they’re not mutually exclusive (courtesy: my mathematics lessons). I promise you, though; we’ll come to the topic sooner or later, I can tell you, may be at some point of my life. But as it is a promise, I’m bound to keep it, no derelictions in that…take my word.
Boundaries, as far as I’m concerned, can do no harm, may be it can hurt but can never harm. So, respecting the differences should also be harmless. So, that is human mind after all, starting with a thought of the moon, ending up in the general down-to-earth issues faced by a daily human, born out of a bit of eccentricity from my part, born out of the inherent surge to put something in my own words, to make something new, or to be different, or to create…after all the God’s profession and mankind’s basic instinct aims the same…and that is creation (the word never to be read as destruction).