Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Thoughts - On Traditional Indian Marriage

“Life doesn’t have a protocol; live it your own way.” – My most favorite line, which I apply to almost everything, which I would like to refer here in this context also.

A much discussed topic which has nothing much serious about it (many think so) and has resulted in nothing more than ennui, I would like to add my opinions to it also, adding to the aforementioned maybe.

So, without much introduction, let me come to the point. Is it really necessary to just go with the crowd and get settled, just because everybody else is doing the same? Is there any particular age as to get settled and according to the elders and some other traditional chaps, start living?

My answer to the above questions is a firm ‘no’. I would like to remind the reader of the first line of this. Why should you do something because everyone else is doing? Is there any written rule somewhere? I may sound a bit frenetic while discussing this but it’s just because I’m forced to even think the way everyone else does. Speaking about me, I’m not a very modern-viewed person or anything but one with the oldest concept of love and life, ‘marry for love’. You should marry once you find the right person and have some sort of assurance that you can spend the rest of your life with the same person, sharing even if not the same interests, but interests that will go in harmony.

As a person valuing my country’s culture and tradition, I just don’t understand why people don’t imbibe the crux of the culture but is merely abiding by a much perverted view of that rich culture. No rule in our culture says a person should get married in so-and-so age, that they should blindly follow the horoscopes and marry someone who doesn’t agree with him/her on an intellectual or emotional level but merely because the position of their stars at their time of birth match? How ridiculous!

As a matter of fact, I’m much interested in astrology and had been voraciously studying volumes of textbooks and articles relating to astrology, both Indian and Western. I do believe that stars have an influence on our lives too, as Einstein says, “God doesn’t play dice with the Universe.” So, there should be a fixed set of rule. I don’t know whether if it’s decided by stars or something else. I see the Universe as a solution of some very complex mathematical equation. Well…that’s a different topic altogether. What I wanted to point out is that there is not much logic in consulting horoscopes for getting married though I do believe in astrology. A very optimistic as well as catastrophic phenomenon that applies here is that anything and everything is prone to change, anything can be changed and it is bound to change.

A person should marry when he feels like, not because everyone wants him to do so or because everyone is doing the same. Why are we not free to experiment with lives? We live only once; live it to the fullest, the way you want to be. Marry a person because you love him/her and want to spend the rest of your life with them. Settle down when you really feel like, because it’s not just a matter of your life alone, but of another person’s and of the families of both. Once you undertake a responsibility, you have to do it well after all.

So, here I’m all game to experiment with the one life God gifted me with. Wish me good luck!!!

Monday, December 29, 2008

For You, Brother...

Together we sailed through the frontier of time
Knowing not the forthcoming tides of fire in fury
The mercy of the wind didn’t aid our course
Beyond the horizon I could see…
The smile of our Heavenly Father
Is he lending his hand to help?
Or is he calling us in, to join Him in heaven?
Before the wind tear us apart,
O Brother, I want you to see too
I know not, why I joined you in your course
Was it the desire to avenge the misled brother?
Who was far afloat in the Forbidden Sea…?
Or was it the urge to join you my Brother?
Whom the lap which brought us up
Named the Beholder of Eternal Light
Whom they all called upon for sanctifying the mankind
I set on sail with you, knowing not…
The meaning so profound of sanctification
You taught me to fetch the weapon for you
You taught me to set the target on the foe
You taught me to smile even
When the so-called foe withered and whined
I did learn, my Brother, utmost earnestly
All what you taught me…
Together we held the light
Together we avenged the foe
Together we sanctified the world of bad blood
Together we sailed…
I did feel the chill in spine dear Brother…
When I saw the very hands which walked me as a kid
Helplessly waved to me to run for dear life
Your hands then was drenched with blood too
Like your quivering body…
But the blood stains before were of our siblings…
From whom we got estranged as kids
The very hands that fed us taught us to aim and hold
The weapon against them…
Them…our siblings!!!
We tainted our hands with their blood
Sinners we should be called
Still when they called us “terrorists”,
We fought back with words…
Telling the ailing heart inside…
“We ain’t terrorists,
We came down here for the Holy Cause,
The holy cause to sanctify the world
From the blood so bad”,
But Brother, why didn’t we realize?
That it’s the same blood in our veins too…?
Oh my Holy Father, why were you so late?
So late as to tell us not to shed your own blood
For nothing but to save the Devil’s reign…?
But now you showed us the way…
The waves, the sea, the wind is calm once again
And we all are here…
All your beloved kids…hand in hand
To join you…and to guide our lost siblings
The sole survivors, still making their way
Through the dark alley
To retain your kingdom
To retain the lost brotherhood among us
To retain our soul that was crying amidst the chaos…
To be set free…

Thursday, November 13, 2008


World is coming to a standstill in front of me
Yes, the world has come to a halt
Or, my world is at standstill without you
I don’t want it to move, if your memories I have to leave here
I choose not to move if you won’t join me in my further course
You’re always there, right in front of my eyes
Be it closed or open
And your heart so near as the heartbeat is to myself
Still I name you a stranger
Knowing I’m a stranger to you too
Forgetting all those beautiful moments spent together
We’re nothing but strangers to one another
What more to say when I find no words other than
Stranger, I’m totally in love with you
Your name I hear with each heart-beat of mine
And your thoughts haunt me every-time I take a breath
Just close your eyes once, for me
And let me steal that one moment
Am I just a stranger to you?
Am I not a part within you?
And here I am, deprived of all joys in life
Stranger to the world
Stranger to you
Stranger to myself…

Remnant of Eternity

From the depth of the heart of the ocean
Did I find the wonderful ray of hope
Though lost in the glory of itself, it shines anew
As if a remnant of eternity

All the way I was swimming against the current…the very thought of going against makes me keep going…being a born-rebel…Slowly did I realize, I’m way too far from the shore, away from things I hold dear…but started the journey nevertheless have to keep going till my destination…let no fear, no worry, no love hold me back…that is the prayer within…still I realize, it’s better to feel small with everything around than to be a remnant of eternity…but here I found the ray of hope in all its glory…thanks to the Pandora’s box.

My Promise

I’ll be here, it’s a promise
A promise not meant to be broken
You broke all promises
You walked away…
I’m here where you left me…
Mid-way on the road so dark
Where the road leads I don’t know
It may…to freedom or doom
But I’m not moving
I’m here where I am…
Where you left me…
I won’t ask you ever to take me along
Nor ask you to turn back and heed my call
I know you don’t want to
Walk away from me the farthest you can
May life make a bed of roses...for you
To love and to wait for you…it’s my promise
My promise alone…
If I find space in your mind someday,
Please remember these words of mine
I’m here where you left me…
You taught me life…to love…to wait…and to cry…
I’ll wait till the end of times
Here where I am…
So that I won’t cross your path ever again
That’s a promise.
To love, to wait, it is a promise.
Why to wait... I don’t know…
May you have all what you wish for…
May the cool breeze stroke your hair gently always…
May the songs you listen be your hymn…
May your path be strewn with flowers all sweet…
And thus the crushed flower prays…
Who fell in love with the very feet that crushed her…
Her voice was lost in the hymns and wind…
Yet she was bidding him adieu with tears…
And still telling him
In the hope the voice will reach him someday…
I’m here where I am, where you left me…
So that you can return someday…
Futile this dream may seem,
But I hold it so dear as my life itself…

My Relations - What They Taught Me

‘What real love is…It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter - as I did!’
-Charles Dickens (Great Expectations)

I disproved it!!!

So coming to the question of what I learnt from my past relations;

1. I’m not always right.
2. It’s better to lose by playing a fair game than to win by cheating. The same applies for all relations.
3. The greatest love in the universe is self-love. No other love can surpass it
4. Attitude should be something for keeping dignity, not for show-off purposes.
5. It doesn’t hurt much to forgive, but it takes a lot to forget.
6. Hatred is born out of love only, if you mix up frustration along with it in a greater amount.
7. There’s nothing wrong in staying happy as long as you’re not infringing others’ happiness.
8. The bravest is the one who can admit their mistakes in a relation and there’s nothing worse than a coward who leaves their loved one without a word.
9. It’s never too late.

Lessons of Life

1. Love them, love them, love them…if they hate you also love them. They won’t be able to defeat you then.
2. Believe you’re worth the best. Never compromise for anything, even if it is the second best thing available.
3. If you succeed once, stop there. Never do the same things again and again, either move for the tougher and better things or just stop and go get something better.
4. You should always leave something only for something better, not the other way round.
5. Never get blinded by the goodness of anything. Believe it is with you just because you are better.
6. If you have it, flaunt it. But, never impose it on anyone.
7. There is nothing wrong in being a people-pleaser. Only the charming lot can do so.
8. The only block to success or living according to one’s wishes is bothering about what others think of you. Never get affected with that feeling. Then success is definitely yours.
9. You don’t have to own anything in order to love it. The purest and greatest love is to give your heart and soul to something or someone who is no longer or never yours.
10. Trust is good. But never lose yourself even when the trust is broken. Always keep yourself on the safe side.
11. Don’t expect God to help those who do not help themselves.
12. Give, give, give as much as you can. But never lose anything yourself and give it.
13. Bad times are the best time for self-improvement. Utilize it to the fullest.
14. Never regret anything. But, never forgive yourself for making the same mistakes again and again. Just keep that in mind. Even then if it happens, keep the first line in mind…never regret.