Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Thoughts - On Traditional Indian Marriage

“Life doesn’t have a protocol; live it your own way.” – My most favorite line, which I apply to almost everything, which I would like to refer here in this context also.

A much discussed topic which has nothing much serious about it (many think so) and has resulted in nothing more than ennui, I would like to add my opinions to it also, adding to the aforementioned maybe.

So, without much introduction, let me come to the point. Is it really necessary to just go with the crowd and get settled, just because everybody else is doing the same? Is there any particular age as to get settled and according to the elders and some other traditional chaps, start living?

My answer to the above questions is a firm ‘no’. I would like to remind the reader of the first line of this. Why should you do something because everyone else is doing? Is there any written rule somewhere? I may sound a bit frenetic while discussing this but it’s just because I’m forced to even think the way everyone else does. Speaking about me, I’m not a very modern-viewed person or anything but one with the oldest concept of love and life, ‘marry for love’. You should marry once you find the right person and have some sort of assurance that you can spend the rest of your life with the same person, sharing even if not the same interests, but interests that will go in harmony.

As a person valuing my country’s culture and tradition, I just don’t understand why people don’t imbibe the crux of the culture but is merely abiding by a much perverted view of that rich culture. No rule in our culture says a person should get married in so-and-so age, that they should blindly follow the horoscopes and marry someone who doesn’t agree with him/her on an intellectual or emotional level but merely because the position of their stars at their time of birth match? How ridiculous!

As a matter of fact, I’m much interested in astrology and had been voraciously studying volumes of textbooks and articles relating to astrology, both Indian and Western. I do believe that stars have an influence on our lives too, as Einstein says, “God doesn’t play dice with the Universe.” So, there should be a fixed set of rule. I don’t know whether if it’s decided by stars or something else. I see the Universe as a solution of some very complex mathematical equation. Well…that’s a different topic altogether. What I wanted to point out is that there is not much logic in consulting horoscopes for getting married though I do believe in astrology. A very optimistic as well as catastrophic phenomenon that applies here is that anything and everything is prone to change, anything can be changed and it is bound to change.

A person should marry when he feels like, not because everyone wants him to do so or because everyone is doing the same. Why are we not free to experiment with lives? We live only once; live it to the fullest, the way you want to be. Marry a person because you love him/her and want to spend the rest of your life with them. Settle down when you really feel like, because it’s not just a matter of your life alone, but of another person’s and of the families of both. Once you undertake a responsibility, you have to do it well after all.

So, here I’m all game to experiment with the one life God gifted me with. Wish me good luck!!!


Neo said...

I can feel the echoes of my thoughts penned in this blog :)

I would like to add some points to our thoughts above.

To start with, I don't really understand the meaning of the term "settling down"... I would call it the most absurd and abused term in the history of Indian marriages.

If one looks back the human ecology; human beings are the species who are always busy in search for comfort, love, money, fame, et al. And these desires may vary for every person at different phases of their lives. So there is no room for the term "settling down". If you ask me personally, I would say, 'why should I settle down?'. Its just one life, so live it my way!

Also my views on the horoscope thing, I'm a scorpian and as every scorpian, I'm so proud to be one and have a deep interest in horoscope, but haven't read books on it though :)

I don't believe in this darn system of matching horoscopes for marriages. And lucky me, I'm the son of the parents who don't believe in this crap system! Maybe my bringing up had influenced me to thing like this, which is definitely for good.

Last but not the least, I'm so happy that there is no concept of 'Jathaga' (horoscope for each person) in my family. And believe it or not, no one in our family (dad, mom, bro & me) have one :)

The theory is very simple, you like a person and you think that he/she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, then go ahead and do it... It holds good to my family, as I'm seeing it daily in the form of my elder bro, guess you understand :)

Way to go Anju. I'm with you. Wish your dreams come true!

Anju said...

Thanx a lot for the comments. i truly agree with you on that regard too. By the term "settling down" i was only echoing the words of my family.

Thank you very much for the wishes too. :)

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